My last entry was way back in March and I’ve fallen off the radar a bit. I started dating a friend’s brother and quickly gained a complicatedly extended family and a new group of friends. My weekends were busy with visits and juggling my time between the various people in my life, and balancing work with the hopes of some, me-time was difficult to negotiate – so this blog took the hit… which is why I haven’t written a thing since January.
But now, things are… different. A LOT has changed.
I started dating Paul* in January and after 8 months of consideration and deliberation I decided it wasn’t working between us. On the 1st of September I decided to end it (I’ll go into the ins-and-outs of it all one day).
That night I got painful abdominal cramping. I took some Advil and tried to go to sleep, telling myself that it was the guilt of the days events or maybe that dodgy sandwich I’d had for dinner, but the pain persisted all night.
In the morning I took more Advil but the pain remained and at about 10am I asked my Mum to come with me to the doctors surgery to get checked out (by the way, generally speaking, I’m not an alarmist – and the doctors surgery is always my last resort, so the fact that I wanted to go, gives you some idea of the pain I was in).
The doctor asked some questions and gave me physical exam. He sent me straight to the Accident & Emergency Department fearing it was a appendicitis or an ectopic pregnancy. I was admitted to Queens Hospital for 10 days while they ran various tests. My pain was managed well with oral morphine, oxycontin and paracetamol. They ran blood tests and did an MRI scan.
I was told (upon discharge) that a mass was found on my ovary and that it was a staggering 8 cms. The registrar informed me that I would receive a letter about scheduling a check up and then a surgery date to remove the mass (the letter came but was scheduled for mid December – I was furious and in a lot of pain. How could they expect me to deal with that pain for months?!).
On the 22nd of September I got a call from the hospital informing me that an emergency appointment had been made with the gynological team at Queens for me to attend for blood tests on the 24th of September.
When I went on the 24th of September I went through the blood tests and my consultant told me that the MRI team had rushed my scans to her desk because what they saw had concerned them. She told me to keep my mobile on because she was going to rush the results and get them to me that night. At about 8:30 pm she called.
It was bad news.
The ovary and my blood tests showed elements of malignancy. She scheduled me for a CT scan and blood test on 25th September and a removal of the cancerous ovary on the 26th September. See diagram below of what was going on:
The results of the CT scan showed that I had some dodgy looking lymph nodes, which they would also remove, during my surgery. They also said they would biopsy surrounding areas including my other ovary and womb.
The surgery happened, and it sucked (the mass on my ovary had grown to 12 cms – that’s about the size of an iPhone). I was in so much pain and I look like I’ve been cut in half… scars are sexy, right..?)
– Below is Elly Mayday, she manages to rock her scar and look sexy! My scar goes right up about an inch below my bra, but she is so inspirational!
We went for the results of the biopsy on the 15th October (last Wednesday).
It wasn’t good.
In fact it was awful.
The biopsies returned positive for an aggressive stage 3 cancer which had originated in my womb and had spread to my ovary.
The only form of treatment is to remove my womb and other ovary.
At age 27 and childless, I have to have a hysterectomy
I have cancer.
I spoke to them about possibly removing my eggs and freezing them but the surgeon expressed an urgency with time and that their priority was me and my health and that they weren’t willing to advise me to wait in order to have my eggs removed.
I was devastated.
I am devastated.
We are all devastated.
The operation to remove my womb and good ovary is scheduled for the 28th of October. They plan on going back in through my previous scar and they may have to extend the length a little. After that, chemo and/or radiation will be my treatment until I am given the all-clear.
I don’t really know what is left to say.
I’m not really sure why I’m even writing about this.
Maybe for completeness…
Maybe over the years I have come to feel like I owe you. Like you deserve for me to have accountability and transparency with you.
I have talked to you at length about my hopes and dreams and aspirations and stresses and irritations… so why not this..?
I would ask you all for one thing: Please send me your positivity and supportive thoughts. This is a time when I really need all the good vibe-i-ness I can handle.
P.S. Not sure how long it will take me to recover after the next surgery, and not sure if I’ll be up for blogging, so you may not hear from me for a while, but I will be back eventually… I will however, try to keep you updated on progress.